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  • Are you alone this Valentine's Day? No, no, no. I'm not lonely. I have me.
  • But I told Santa I wanted a PONY!
  • Silent night
  • You're not the real Santa.
  • Maybe using "Let it snow" wrapping paper wasn't the best idea.
  • Just finished putting up my Christmas tree.
  • Naughty Nice
  • Happy Thanksgiving! Make a plate while is still hot
  • How you look when you see cops at the neighbours house.
  • Happy Thanksgiving! Thank you Red Bull, Google, Vodka and Wikipedia for making this possible.

I did nothing today and still got paid.

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I did nothing today and still got paid.
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You might also like...

  • So, I heard you're dating my ex. Here, use these candles for a romantic dinner.
  • I set off the metal detector again? This is going to make me late for class 
the fifth time this week.
  • The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
  • Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.

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