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  • On the 12th of Christmas my Facebook gave to me,12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics.
  • I couldn't do my homework because my computer has a virus and so do all my pencils and pens.
  • Babe bring me another beer.
  • Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
  • My child, my New Year's resolution is to spend more quality time with you. Will you accept me as a Facebook friend and let me follow you on Twitter?
  • Either cheer up or take off the hat.